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Monday, April 02, 2007]
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seriously these few daes is realli a battle and a big dicision making in my head...
one ask me to do this the other tell me do that and another want control me and wan me do his way...
its full of contradiction in my life...
is full of ironic situation
its realli confusing on how i am going to continue
i seriously dunnoe how i am going to continue...
beside that i have been suan by Person X on sun
suan till veri badly...
mani thinks that it is a joke...
but to ppl like me those suan attack you instantly
those who noe me veri well should noe or maybe not noe
bringing me back to this point...
i m seriously seriously VERI VERI depress...
i juz feel that i m a failure and ppl ard me keep shooting me and suanning me...
i m totally like a loser ...
well juz to give u all a update...
the sucider me have never left me...
when it came to me i juz say no i wanted to live
but recently i got sooo sad that a pen knife looks like one of my best friend and high rise building and calling me
i seriously have a hard time having a huge mind battlefeild on my head
thinking of this... i remembered 2 years ago...
when i was a person that is veri emo and depress
i went out to the building
and want to jump down from the 15th floor...
it was a miracle when alvin called me and share with me wat the love of God was...
and as a christian for 2 months that time...
i finally experience the power of His love which touch me ever the first time with love and He help me through
this is the reason why i am still here todae...
although now i am still a person that dunnoe how to love...
i believe one day i will love...
mani ppl ask me y i continue go church this and that...
i m veri frank here
he have redeem me he have saved me over and over again...
no matter how bad things can get i noe he is with me...
that why no matter what i wont leave i will continue cling on and walk till to the end...
some may say... "hey you are a christian.. how can u behave this way."
most of the time i remain quiet but in my heart i wanna reply...
"i am still human i still got my own personal life got my own problems..."
all i can say is...
i dun care how tempted to die as i m tempted now
i will continue to live my life well and continue to walk
no matter what i will cling on...
i wont do foolish thing
bye Bye
tWinkL3 twiNkl3 liTTl3 stAr
bring me away
running after you at 6:48 AM
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